


Take A Stand With Pride

by thekindworthreading



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fights, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23597818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Alex wants to go out for dinner.Aaron doesn´t.That leads to a fight.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	Take A Stand With Pride

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddamnfaith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddamnfaith/gifts).



> This is the first time writing this relationship, so I hope I got their dynamic right...
> 
> @goddamnfaith hey look that is something I didn´t write at like 3 a.m., are you proud of me?

This is not how Alex had imagined the day going. It´s the first weekend they have both off since about two months and Alex was looking forward to spending some quality time with his boyfriend. He had imagined a lazy morning in bed, then maybe some shower sex, a big brunch, some more sex in the afternoon and later going out for dinner into some fancy restaurant. That had all worked out perfectly, until Alex had proposed to go to a restaurant in the evening. Instantly Aaron´s expression had faltered. It was only for a second until he was smiling again, but Alex knew that smile. It was the one Aaron always wore on press conferences when he had to lie about something or pretend not to know about an issue a reporter asked about. It was the smile Alex hated the most, the one Aaron always hid his real feelings behind.

“Why don´t we stay in and order something? That´s so much more comfortable and we have more time for dessert.”, Aaron says seductively, and even gives him a wink.

He takes a step forward and rests his hands on Alex´ hips, smiling down at him. Normally this voice works perfectly on Alex, but he knows that Aaron just wants to distract him and get him to simply agree with him.

“No, I want to go out.”, Alex insists, stubborn as always.

Aaron sighs.

“We can do that another time, alright? I don´t really feel like it.”

“Please?”, he tries again, but Aaron shakes his head.

“Another time, baby.”

He leans down to kiss Alex, but the smaller man lets out a huff, squirming out of the embrace before Aaron can reach him. Alex takes a step back, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“You say that every time I want to go out.”, Alex accuses.

Aaron opens his mouth to say something in response, but Alex cuts him off: “Don´t even try to deny it. Do you want to know how often we had dinner in a restaurant? Twice. And both times we weren´t even alone.”

He can feel himself getting angry, and he knows that he should calm down a bit, before he says things he doesn´t mean.

“Alex…”, Aaron starts, but he just shakes his head.

“Don´t you ´Alex´ me!”, he snaps. “You never want to go out with me. Every time I plan something, you come up with another great excuse why we can´t do that. I don´t get it. Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Can´t you for once in your life take a stand with pride? You seem pretty content to fuck me, but when it comes to being public I´m suddenly not worth the effort? I´m your boyfriend not some cheap-“

“Alex stop!”

It´s only now that Alex notices that Aaron seems to be fighting tears. All the anger leaves his body, and he takes a tentative step forward. He feels awful and a bit helpless.

“Aaron?”, he asks hesitantly.

He takes another step forward, reaching up to touch his boyfriend´s arm, but Aaron flinches away. Alex lets his hand fall down again and tries not to let the hurt show on his face. He fucked this up and it´s not Aaron´s fault. He has to fix this. He is a bit out of his depth, normally it´s Aaron who has to be strong while Alex gets emotional and he doesn´t really know how to handle this, so he does what he can do best: talk.

“I didn´t mean it. Any of it.”, he says, his voice sounding small and wrong.

Aaron just shakes his head.

“You did.”, his voice sounds broken and wet, and Alex hates himself for being the reason for it.

“No, no. I didn´t. I know you love me. I was just disappointed because I was excited to go out with you.”

“I´m sorry.”, Aaron says, casting his eyes to the ground.

“No! _I_ am sorry. You have nothing to apologise for. This is my fault.”, Alex rushes to say.

He wants to go over and hug Aaron, but he doesn´t know if the other man would let him do that, so he just stands awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

“I mean, you are right. At least kind of.”, Aaron says after some time, hesitantly looking up at Alex. “I _do_ want to go out with you, it´s just… I never had people in my life who supported me, and I always had to hide who I was. You are so lucky to have had that and that you´re comfortable being out in public, but I´m not. I want to show the world that I love you, but I am scared.”

Now there are tears in Alex´ eyes as well and he feels even worse about the things he had said.

“I´m sorry.”, he says again.

“You didn´t know.”

Alex shakes his head.

“That doesn´t matter.”

“I should have told you.”, Aaron insists.

“I should have just accepted that you didn´t want to go out.”

Aaron smiles slightly.

“Can we agree that we are both at fault?”

Alex huffs, but gives Aaron a small smile.

“Fine.”

They stand there for a moment, just looking at each other, before Aaron opens his arms. Alex surges forward, almost knocking him over as he throws himself into Aaron´s arms. He clings to Aaron almost desperately, only relaxing when he feels Aaron putting one arm around him, holding him closer and the other hand on the back of his head. Alex closes his eyes for a moment, grounding himself, silent tears slipping down his cheeks.

“I´m still sorry.”, he mumbles.

Aaron chuckles and Alex knows that he must be crying too, because the sound is weirdly strangled.

“I know.”, Aaron whispers.

They stay like this for what feels like hours, until both of their eyes are dry again. Alex is reluctant to let go of Aaron again, but his boyfriend pushes him away insistently.

“Do you still want to go out?”, he asks.

Alex can still see a hint of fear in his eyes, but there is also determination there. He shakes his head.

“Some other time. I just want to be close to you.”, he says, snuggling against him once more.

Aaron nods and kisses his head.

“Alright. What do you think about pizza and a movie?”

Alex gives him a smile and nods.

“That sounds amazing.”, he says, and presses a kiss to Aaron´s lips.


End file.
